Furry Alphabet Q-Z

The toughest part, since no translateable animal starts with Q or X. Still not sure about the Q here...

A QUOKKA once told me: "Oh what a pity!

Maybe it's true that I'm not very pretty...

But I don't deserve this ridiculous name!"

Honestly people! Have you no shame?

-
A RHINO
That I know
Goes out for walks
And clears the sidewalk for several blocks.

I know
The rhino
likes this a great deal
But how do the other pedestrians feel?
-
The SPERM WHALE he lives in the sea
Though he is not a fish
Some people think that it's suspic-
ious, but it's fine by me:

Not everybody understands
How big he really is
Would we have any space on land
With that huge bulk of his?
-
The TAPIR's nose is hanging low
His dreams have been frustrated
He tried to be an elephant
But never really made it
-
The URCHIN told the porcupine
"A back with spines is mighty fine!
But do you know how long it took
For us to come up with this look?"
-
It's ages since I've seen a VIPER
Can't really say I miss them, either
-
The WILDHOG
He is rude and vicious
But he's also quite delicious
Even the most piggish kind
Have their good sides, you will find
-
I'm sure that in some respects
X is a fantastic letter
But there's no animal for X
So I made up the XETTER
-
What's not to love about the YAK?
It's fun to ride upon its back
If I was living in Tibet
I'd want to have one as a pet
-
A ZEBU won't know about blizzards of snow
About hail and ice and other such topics
Because even though he's only an ox
The zebu, my friends, is a child of the tropics

Furry Alphabet H-P

More of translations of Zakhoder's Furry Alphabet

If you meet a HEDGEHOG, it is nice to say
"My my, isn't someone sharply dressed today!"
-
"It's hotter here than in a sauna!"
The walrus told the IGUANA
"Why it's so cold I thought I'd freeze!"
Said the iguana with a sneeze
-
The brains of a hare
The tact of a bear
A hyena's good looks
(including the hair)
The JACKAL's an animal beyond compare
The greatest that's ever been seen anywhere
-
Every KANGAROO will vouch
Nothing's better than a pouch
"Its advantage is apparent!"
Says the proud kanga-parent
"It's a lovely hiding spot!"
Says the happy kanga-tot.
-
The LION, as you are aware,
was once the king of beasts.
But these day monarchies are rare
and lion's reign has ceased

The lion wasn't a good king
and he abused his power
so I don't have much sympathy
if now he's feeling sour.
-
Us MONKEYS and you humans share
Ancestors (were you aware?)
Now we're in zoos and people stare
Dear kids: do you think this is fair?
-
In deepest night
It's quite a fright
To meet a great big OWL
But when it's light
They're just about
As scary as ... a towel??
-
The PEACOCK is pretty - I wont pretend
That I can't see what sets him apart
But all of his beauty begins at the end
And that's not the best place to staart

Furry Alphabet A-G

Boris Zakhoder should be every Russian-speaking kid's favourite person (unless it's Tove Jansson of course). To us former Russian kids, Peter Pan, Mary Poppins, especially Winnie the Pooh, and even Alice in Wonderland "loses something in the original"... Not only that, but he wrote MOST of the poems I first heard as a kid

Кто носорогу
дорогу
уступит
Тот несомненно разумно поступит

В названиях пород обман - а может произвол
Не так уж добр доберман - хотя не так уж зол

etc. etc... I thought I would try translating some of his "мохнатая азбука" (furry alphabet) into English. Here's the first instalment, A-G

We'll start with the ANTEATER if that's okay
For just like the alphabet, he starts with A

The BRONCO decided he'd be a giraffe
And even though all of the animals laugh
The bronco himself doesn't pay much attention
He has no problems with bucking convention

Why is the COBRA so upset?
It's easy to explain
There's lots of poison in that head
And very little brain

DOGS will often disagree
But they don't need to fight
The loudest "woof"
Can serve as proof
Of your side being right

I started this poem 'bout the EMU
But it's quite hard to continue
I just wish I really knew:
Is it E-mu or e-MU

Tigers and lions are big and impressive
But the little FERRET is much more aggressive
Let's be thankful that at least

It's not a gigantic beast

There is neither rhyme nor reason
To keep a GNU - in any season
For you see, this southern ruminant
Is unfriendly and quite gloominant