How to have a Russian accent - Rule 9

Here we go, another instalment in the (incredibly drawn out) series on faking a Russian accent convincingly.

Rule 9. Avoid proper names.

Much as the pronunciation of Russian names in English evolved from uninformed reading of names transcribed according to general rules
(so that the USSR leader whose name should be read /xrʊˈɕɕof/ is usually pronounced [ˈkʰɹus.tʃɛv])
so the pronunciation of foreign names in Russian evolved from reading of names transcribed by uninformed people according to general rules
(so that the US leader whose name should be read /ˈɹoʊzəˌvɛlt/ is usually pronounced [ˈruzvʲɪlʲt]).
Arguably the Russian side has asymmetric blameworthiness here, because people who are doing the transcribing should really have at least a clue of what they are doing, whereas pronunciation is everyone's prerogative. On the other hand, no russification of names are as badly screwed up as Khrushchev's anglicization is (although the Russian transcription of the name Heather is pretty close).

What all this boils down to is that the pronunciation of proper names is screwed up. And if since you've been a kid you've been taught that the physicist's name is [ɛjnˈʂtɛjn], you have no reason to suspect that in English it's [ˈaɪnstaɪn]! So this screwiness would show up in a real accent. But on the other hand, the rules are not much help here. Proper names are pronounced in bizarre ways you are not going to be able to recreate - you'll just have to either know it, or avoid saying that name.

The exceptions here: Moscow, St. Petersburg, Russia, USSR, Ukraine, Soviet Union, etc. For things like this refer back to Rule 0. These are the some of the first things you learn in English if you're a Russian, and you're not gonna mock yourself by pronouncing them in a way that is deliberately, caricaturishly wrong in English (never, never say Moskva or Rossiya in a Russian accent!).